Mama Tried

16 Months

James is 16 months! And I almost forgot. I was still telling people he was fifteen months until yesterday and he turned 16 months 3 days prior to that. He will have plenty of fodder for his therapist, I guess.

Joanne (hi Joanne!) commented on my last post that talking was James' thing, and boy, is it. When we were at his appointment (the 15 month one, a month late- I did not schedule it with my husband's old pediatrician after all) his doctor asked if he had any words, and I was all, "Well- he says mama, dada, brother, dog, Buster, ball, go, jump, walk, duck, no, gugga (blanket), up, down..." and she cut me off like, "Okay, okay, I get it, he is talking plenty." And then he said like three other words I hadn't mentioned (maybe nose? Or shoes? Or shirt? Or eyes? He's got plenty of words, is my point) just to show off.

He had also started walking two steps in a row, but no more, which the doctor said totally counted as walking. And then started really walking immediately after we left the office. He is right on his growth curve and doing great.

The doctor was REALLY impressed with Nathan, though. She asked if I wanted to get Nathan a flu shot while we were there, and I said, "Nathan, let's get you a shot" and he started to tantrum and I just said, "Well, if you get the shot you can have a lollipop" and he immediately pulled it together and said, "Okay." She said her son would never have settled that quickly, much less not even batted an eye when getting the shot. What I can I say, Nathan is highly lollipop-motivated.

15 Months today

James is 15 months today. He is still not walking, but will walk much further as long as he has two hands to hold while he does it, or a hand and a piece of furniture. Today was big progress- he walked around childwatch holding my hand with one hand and his snack trap with the other, and then when we got home walked in the house holding just one hand. So I think it'll be soon.

I had postponed his 15 month checkup til October since his pediatrician is out on adoption leave. But yesterday we got a letter about the doctor who is covering- and it turns out to be JEFF's old pediatrician. So now I have to reschedule so Jeff can go in and see his old doctor. (I am a little worried about going to see some 70-something year old man who came out of retirement instead of our beloved pediatrician, but since I am pretty sure James is developing normally and he goes back to his regular doctor three months later I'll risk it.)

We had a big adventure this weekend- our first car crash as a family. We were driving down Topanga Canyon when a car pulled out in front of us and we ran right into it- I had enough time to try to brake but not enough time for it to stop us. I don't think Nathan really understood what happened until the firefighters (who were conveniently driving down the street behind us and pulled over to investigate) opened his door to ask if he was okay. He burst into tears- "What's happening??" Meanwhile James was all, "Hi! Want a cracker?" No one was hurt and the accident happened right by an In N' Out, so we got lunch, and rode in a tow truck, and it was fine. My mother came out the next day (she was coming to get my brother Daniel from his mission) which was convenient and she helped us get carseats and a rental car.  Nathan has snapped back pretty well- he went from repeating over and over how scary it was and how he did not want that man to hit us to reenacting the crash with his cars and other objects, pointing out all the cars that were NOT hitting us while we drive ("Look, Mommy! That car looking where he is going!"), and showing me a magazine ad with a smashed up car and declaring "That car has a BIG owie but our car just has a LITTLE owie."

Then I had another mini-adventure today- James and I did our "Nathan is in school" routine- Y, Trader Joe's, then back home to play- when I noticed the check engine and "Low Tire Pressure" lights came on in the rental car. So we had to hustle it BACK over to the rental place, return that car, get a new car (we originally reserved an economy car but got a free upgrade because there were no economy cars there Monday- the guy was all, "So, I have to give you an economy car now," and I was like, "Sure, sure, that's fine," but admit I may have made a little sad face when he pulled out the keys- there was not even a clicker!- or maybe James was just so cute, so he said, "You know what, I'll give you another compact car" and I can now say that I do not like the Hyundai Sonata OR the Nissan Sentra nearly as much as my beloved Toyota Camry, and I am so glad that it is being fixed) and then get over to Nathan's school for pickup. We made it in the nick of time.  But I am scared that these things come in threes- what auto-mishap will I have next?

14 months and 3 weeks

Now that Nathan is in school James and I are getting some real quality time. I was kind of worried about this, because it is much easier to care for an almost toddler with a 3 and a half year old for entertainment, but it turns out that James is pretty fun all on his own.  True, he likes to pick up toys, pretend they are phones, and say "Hello?" over and over and over and I get tired of pretending to say "hello" back by about the 27th time, but we do other things, too.  

He LOVES to "read" as you can see above. "Go Dog Go" is "go, go, go." Any train book- a Thomas book, Freight Train, or That's Not My Train- is read in the same way, except he says, "Whoo-whoo! Whoo-whoo!" as he turns the pages. My favorite, though, is when he reads Good Dog Carl. He turns each page, eyes wide, saying, "Uh oh! Uh oh! Uh oh!"  

He wants to do everything his brother does even when Nathan is not around. This week he went into the bathroom and stood by the toilet, saying "Up! Up!" until I put him on the potty and gave him a book (just like Nathan does before bathtime). He was so pleased and while I have no intention of potty training any time soon, I have no problem letting him sit there and read books. 

I know we were obnoxious about what a sweet, adorable, perfect baby James was, and I was a little worried he'd be less perfect when he got to be a toddler. So far, though, he's even better. We love this little guy.

Preschool

My husband informs me I need to update this blog. Okay, then.

Nathan started preschool last week. He was pretty excited about it last spring- when he finished up his toddler class he would look wistfully in the preschool windows- and talked about it off and on all summer. When it finally came time to go, though, he was pretty nervous, and I think the "open house"- a day where all the kids came with their parents and checked out the classroom- hurt more than it helped, since it didn't give him any sense of what preschool would actually be like.

So that was last Tuesday, and after the open house he was pretty adamant that he did NOT want to go to preschool and he wanted to go back to toddler class with Miss Michelle and he did NOT want Mommy to leave- Mommy and Baby James had to stay with him. When Thursday morning rolled around, I said, "Okay, time to go to school!" and he ran to his bedroom, got in his bed, and took off all his clothes, saying, "I am NOT GOING TO GO to preschool." So I had to get him dressed and drag him to the car kicking and screaming. Then halfway there he said, "I stopped crying! I not going to say I not go to preschool anymore!" But of course when we got to school and walked in the door of his room he turned and grabbed onto my legs for dear life. One of his teachers came up and picked him up and asked him if he wanted to help her feed the fish. He sniffled and nodded and I left him.

But when I picked him up he was having a great time, and the second day of school was easy as pie- he bounded on into the room like he owned the place.  On the way home yesterday he shouted, "MOMMY! I REALLY LOVE preschool!"  His teachers are really great, and his class is pretty small and all boys, and I think it's going to be a great year.

Adios, Siesta

Nathan is dropping his nap, and after the nightmare bedtime battles I think, well, so what? I am just so grateful not to be fighting him at bedtime anymore, and the days he doesn't nap I really don't have to fight him, so there you go. He seems fine in the afternoon without it and is getting a solid 12 hours at night so there's no problem.

Well, except for that loss of the hour-plus break I counted on. At least I still get it sort of- I am instituting quiet time on the couch for him (initially quiet time in bed but he was keeping James up and rearranging his mattress- yesterday I went in and he had overturned his trash can and stretched his mattress over the can and onto his bedframe and was trying to walk across it with a bridge). Today he even asked to go take his nap 10 minutes into quiet time.

It's funny, I thought him giving up the nap would be the worst thing ever, but so far (knock wood) it really isn't. Grammy was all, "And it's so nice because you don't have to plan your day around it and can just go do things!" and I said, "Well, except James still takes two naps," and she said, "No, I meant I can take Nathan out for adventures." She has been waiting for this, clearly, the chance to go take Nathan and engage in a daylong spoil-fest.

Perhaps at Christmas when we go to Disneyworld they can go off and have a Grammy/Nathan day- which Nathan is confused about, and I have been trying to explain the differences between Disneyland and Disneyworld, to which he says, "Oh, and then we go to Legoworld?"

Read the book, read the book

That was my first sentence. It makes me so happy that Nathan is such a big reader- he goes to bed with several Richard Scarry books every night and has a few original Curious George stories memorized.  And also guilty, because I definitely did not spend as much of James' first year reading to him like I did Nathan- in fact, mostly I just counted James being in the room when I read to Nathan as reading time.

James, however, has decided that he needs to be read more age appropriate books and is taking full advantage of living in a house full of them. When he sees a board book, he grabs it crawls over and shakes it at me, his way of saying, "Read the book! Read the book!"  His favorite book, hands down, is Sandra Boynton's Doggies (which he can totally read, because he is a genius- when you open the first page, he says, "Woof!" Of course he also says that whenever you open any Sandra Boynton book.)  A close second is Slam Dunk, which he can also "read." ("Ball! Ball! Ball!")

He also wants to read whatever Nathan is reading, and they are both currently obsessed with this book. So we spend a lot of time talking about R2D2 and C3PO and I spend a lot of time answering questions like, "What's a New Hope, Mommy?" and overhearing things like "Hurry, run, Thomas, down the track before Darth Vader gonna GET YOU!" I really thought I had a few years before the Star Wars obsession kicked in but apparently it starts young. 

Less Mean Mommy

So, last night I bit the bullet and put both boys down together and resolved to not stay in the room anymore no matter what Nathan did. If he got up and left the room, I'd return him to bed silently. If he woke up James, I would not go in. If he started sounding like he was bothering James by poking in his crib, I would go in, return Nathan to bed silently, and leave James to resettle himself. The italicized portion was the part of my plan that was different from anything I'd tried. I'd been rocking James to sleep and once James started sleeping through the night saw no reason to change that. And I did not think his brother's shenanigans should make him suffer.  But I was at the end of my rope.

And-- Nathan barely got out of bed. He did yell, and wake James, but he stayed in his bed. And it was poor James who cried for almost 45 minutes before settling.  I felt awful but also relieved, as it was the easiest time I had getting them to bed in months. Tonight James cried a little less and Nathan again, yelled but did not try to get out of or jump on his bed, which shocked me. And confirmed that my attention is not conducive to him getting to sleep- if my presence quieted or calmed him, I would have stuck with it, but whenever I am there at bedtime I just rile him up. 

Fortunately James is so easygoing I think he will adjust soon.

In a less mean mommy trick, I have gotten much better with brushing Nathan's teeth. Turns out if I narrate the whole thing like he is at the dentist ("Okay, now, over there is my train table, and I have a play kitchen, and now look up at the tv, would you like to watch this or should we put on a Thomas movie for you?") he'll totally let me brush his teeth really well. Afterwards Mommy Dentist gives him a pretend balloon and then he asks me to hold it. "Mommy Dentist, can you hold my balloon? I have to take my bath and I don't want it to get wep.*"

*He pronounce words that end in t like they end in p, so wet is wep, mat is map, etc. It's pretty cute.

Mean Mommy

I did not really realize that I've been a very patient, kind, and loving mother up until a few weeks ago. But y'all, I have! I have always been really nice and never viciously yelled at my children or felt murderous rage, and I did not realize that was a big deal until I snapped.

Bedtime is doing me in. Now that Nathan is in a toddler bed, and sharing a room with James, I feel like I am screwed anyway I can think of to solve his refusal to stay in bed and be quiet. When he wakes up James at bedtime I feel especially rageful, but I also feel rageful when he's been jack-in-the-bedrooming for over an hour. I don't get it- when he was in the crib we never had these problems, but we also don't have this problem at naptime, so I don't know. I've moved bedtime later, and earlier, and later again. I've tried putting him and James down at the same time. I've tried putting him down first. I am scared to put a gate on his door because I know he'll just wake up James and then I'll go nuts.  My mother suggested staying down in his room w/him, but a)I don't want to stay in his room til 8:30 everynight (that's an hour and a half!) and b)when I stay in his room for three minutes he still jumps and yells.  I'm leaning towards moving James out of their temporarily, if we can fit the pack and play in our room.

Ugh. It is just making me crazy. Even "good" nights he's still out of his bed a lot, I just don't have to put myself in my bedroom and throw a pillow against the wall to calm down enough to deal. I've tried bribery and threats and everything in between and I want to kill Supernanny.

It's not the worst thing that could ever happen but it is by far the worst thing happening to ME (and the second worst isn't even close, the second worst is that when I am folding laundry I have a hard time telling James' pants from Nathan's shorts) and I just need to vent lest I explode.

Things That Are Happening

I cannot think of a coherent post, but when has that ever stopped me?

-James is talking. Dog, more, all done, Bana (banana), Dada, Hi, and Down (which he will say if you say Up- he likes to stand in your lap and you say "Up!" and he'll say, "DOWN!" and sit down, which is the height of hilarity I guess).  And this morning he signed more while saying Bana, does that count as a sentence? 

-Nathan is a HANDFUL but he is at the stage where he explains everything to you. I was out of town and Grammy took him to the mall every day so when I came back, he wanted to go to the mall and then he wanted to explain all about how the whole mall works, like a)I hadn't taken him there a billion times myself and b)I don't know a thing or two about malls. "Mommy, if we leave the stroller in the car we can take the escalator. They have elevators and escalators. On escalators you push the button. First we can get cookies and second ride the train."  

Sleep is our big issue YET AGAIN. James has gotten up, teething I think, for an hour or two at a time the past few nights. And Nathan takes an hour and a half to settle in at bedtime, jumping out of bed ninetytwo times and if we're unlucky, yelling and waking James. I am attempting to bribe him, but that and threats both seem to not work very well. I am hoping both things will just improve with time at this point and if they won't I don't want to know about it.

James, Almost 1

It's James' birthday on Wednesday (two more days!) and I feel like I should post something. This year has gone by so fast, and it has been so much better than I thought it would be. James is so lucky to have such a loving big brother and also to be such a fun loving guy. His favorite song is "If You're Happy and You Know It" and he really is.  He loves dogs, airplanes, bananas (he loves bananas more than anything and will eat them all day long if you let him), and playing with Nathan's toys. He is still mostly an army crawler but is getting around more and even stood unassisted for half a second the other day. He doesn't talk a ton- he babbles, but his main consistent words are "Oooh" (for "I hear an airplane!") "DAH!" ("I see an airplane!") and "Duh!" ("Dog!").  He did pull a blanket over his head yesterday and say, three times, "Wuh Juh?" which was supposed to be "Where's James?" 
He got his cake a few days early and his feelings about cake are the same as his feelings about everything.