So, last night I bit the bullet and put both boys down together and resolved to not stay in the room anymore no matter what Nathan did. If he got up and left the room, I'd return him to bed silently. If he woke up James, I would not go in. If he started sounding like he was bothering James by poking in his crib, I would go in, return Nathan to bed silently, and leave James to resettle himself. The italicized portion was the part of my plan that was different from anything I'd tried. I'd been rocking James to sleep and once James started sleeping through the night saw no reason to change that. And I did not think his brother's shenanigans should make him suffer. But I was at the end of my rope.
And-- Nathan barely got out of bed. He did yell, and wake James, but he stayed in his bed. And it was poor James who cried for almost 45 minutes before settling. I felt awful but also relieved, as it was the easiest time I had getting them to bed in months. Tonight James cried a little less and Nathan again, yelled but did not try to get out of or jump on his bed, which shocked me. And confirmed that my attention is not conducive to him getting to sleep- if my presence quieted or calmed him, I would have stuck with it, but whenever I am there at bedtime I just rile him up.
Fortunately James is so easygoing I think he will adjust soon.
In a less mean mommy trick, I have gotten much better with brushing Nathan's teeth. Turns out if I narrate the whole thing like he is at the dentist ("Okay, now, over there is my train table, and I have a play kitchen, and now look up at the tv, would you like to watch this or should we put on a Thomas movie for you?") he'll totally let me brush his teeth really well. Afterwards Mommy Dentist gives him a pretend balloon and then he asks me to hold it. "Mommy Dentist, can you hold my balloon? I have to take my bath and I don't want it to get wep.*"
*He pronounce words that end in t like they end in p, so wet is wep, mat is map, etc. It's pretty cute.
And-- Nathan barely got out of bed. He did yell, and wake James, but he stayed in his bed. And it was poor James who cried for almost 45 minutes before settling. I felt awful but also relieved, as it was the easiest time I had getting them to bed in months. Tonight James cried a little less and Nathan again, yelled but did not try to get out of or jump on his bed, which shocked me. And confirmed that my attention is not conducive to him getting to sleep- if my presence quieted or calmed him, I would have stuck with it, but whenever I am there at bedtime I just rile him up.
Fortunately James is so easygoing I think he will adjust soon.
In a less mean mommy trick, I have gotten much better with brushing Nathan's teeth. Turns out if I narrate the whole thing like he is at the dentist ("Okay, now, over there is my train table, and I have a play kitchen, and now look up at the tv, would you like to watch this or should we put on a Thomas movie for you?") he'll totally let me brush his teeth really well. Afterwards Mommy Dentist gives him a pretend balloon and then he asks me to hold it. "Mommy Dentist, can you hold my balloon? I have to take my bath and I don't want it to get wep.*"
*He pronounce words that end in t like they end in p, so wet is wep, mat is map, etc. It's pretty cute.
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