Fear of Tomorrow

I was reading this article and got to the end and had to sit and think about this part:

"Claire Shipman, Mr. Carney’s wife and a correspondent on “Good Morning America” on ABC, often handles bath time and bedtime for their daughter and son, 7.

“The first few months, we all thought, ‘This is so exciting!’ — and it is exciting,” Ms. Shipman said. “But I have to say, starting about a month ago, it really kicked in that I could really use a little more help.”

First of all, is bathtime and bedtime for a 4 and 7 year old really that hard to handle on one's own? I was desperately hoping that at sometime in the future it would get easier, and if you are telling me it doesn't, Ms. Shipman, I am in trouble. Second of all, if fancy high powered ambitious DC types have difficulty wrangling two kids on their own, I am in MAJOR trouble.  Jeff goes back to work tomorrow and does not get home until 8 PM.  Which was fine, for the past two years, but is not so fine now that I have a toddler who goes to bed at 6 and a newborn who tends to want to clusterfeed from 4-6.  Bathtime already terrifies me and I haven't had to do it on my own yet. (Bathtime for Nathan. We are lazy second time parents and have given James exactly one sponge bath in the past 12 days.)

I'm actually quite sure everything is going to fall apart tomorrow- how are we both going to shower? How are we going to eat breakfast? How is Jeff going to get out the door on time? And then what am I going to do if it's a whole day of "No, Mama! Hold Nay-Nay! Baby Bounce Seat!!!" I suppose in the worst case scenario I just put Curious George on an endless loop, no?

I know a million people have handled a newborn and a toddler on their own and I am sure after a while I'll find my groove, too. I just hate the unknown, and tomorrow's a whole new unknown. 

For right now, though, both boys have been napping for two hours and I finished all of both newspapers, including the crossword and acrostic, so at least I am fortified with some "me" time. And I'll be milking every second of having Jeff here for the rest of the day.  Wish me luck tomorrow.

Comments

[MediaMentions]

Speaking of family life, I think this one's an article that you should check out: http://www.pressdisplay.com/pressdisplay/showlink.aspx?bookmarkid=UTIHZC6RP9W4&preview=article&linkid=918bb43d-fd1e-4c1e-92dd-b87669e55932&pdaffid=ZVFwBG5jk4Kvl9OaBJc5%2bg%3d%3d

[Jana]

You are going to be just fine, which somehow I can predict from Chicago. I totally get your apprehensions (and I really do not know how a) my mom had 3 kids under 4 at once, and b) how families can have two parents working full-time in urban areas) and I'll be wishing you luck all day tomorrow!

[jano]

I didn't have a toddler - Stella was 4 and a half when the boys were born so bathtime wasn't so difficult - but wrangling more than one kid CAN be done. It just sometimes needs to be done while all four of you are crying.

I found the apprehension about being left alone with them all was harder than the actuality. There was only one time that was worse, when I had to take the boys outside in their bouncy seats so the screaming wouldn't echo in the house quite so much, but generally I found ways around whatever issues arose. Frequent use of a portable DVD player was an excellent coping strategy for the clusterfeeding nightmare.

Good luck, I am sure you will be finer than fine.

[Beth]

I am wondering if a Beco Butterfly would help you out. It's a carrier sort of like an Ergo, but it has an infant insert that lets you put a very young baby -- I think they say one month old at minimum -- onto your back, which makes it much easier to do stuff for your toddler. I know a couple of parents in your situation who found it to be a lifesaver (and I still use mine with Penny when we go to the pool or out to dinner or anywhere I don't want to wrangle a stroller).

But I am so confident that you will work it out, Hannah. Just because neurotic fancy pants D.C. types can't do it doesn't mean you can't. They probably hire dog walkers, too, and you've been doing that for the last two years.

[Joy]

The first time I was on my own with both kids was hard, I won't kid you. I was also still healing from the surgery, so that made it harder. The first bedtime, Tess screamed the whole way through and I felt guilty about not focussing on Larkin enough during book reading etc, and had to shut two bedroom doors so I couldn't hear Tess crying quite as much.

But, it got better. I'm no longer scared to have them both on my own, Tess is better about not being picked up right away, and I've figured out when to feed her, etc so that I can time it when I need to pay undivided attention to Larkin.

So, it will probably be rough, and then you will figure it out.

Do you have a Moby? That kept Tess up high enough and tight to me that I could tend to L as well, but I like the sound of what Beth suggests too. The Ergo with the infant insert in front obstructed my movement too much (I couldn't really sit down in it easily) to use while tending to a toddler.

[Joy]

Oh, also, I totally cheated and asked some friends to help out by coming for 30-45 minutes during L's bedtime to hold the baby a few times. I don't know if you have some friends who would be happy to help out that way, but it is a pretty small favor and it can make a big difference.

But like Beth said, you have wrangled far more than delicate DC types and will be okay. Even if it is hard, it will be okay. (I am certainly more delicate than you, and survived.)

[hannah]

Thanks all. We made it to naptime and I did remind myself yesterday that billions of men and women have done this before me.

I have a Moby-esque wrap which we took to Nathan's dance class this morning. Also, yesterday, I remembered that we have the swing and James hung out in that for bath/bedtime.