Mama Tried

Pregnancy Updates

I hit 36 weeks yesterday and went to the doctor who told me at this point if the baby decides to come, they won't try to stop him, so I'm off the partial bedrest.  I'm also now not only almost fully effaced but 3 centimeters dilated.  Thanks to my keeping this blog, I know that I was not dilated at all the day before Nathan's due date but was about the same amount effaced. Thanks to anecdotal data gathered from the internet and friends and actual medical advice given by my doctor, I know that has nothing to do with whether or not this baby is coming any time soon and I could have the baby any minute or I could walk around 3 cm dilated for the next four weeks.

After telling me I could go into labor at any moment, "or not," the doctor told me since this was my second and Nathan's labor wasn't that long, I could also go very quickly, so I should go to the hospital as soon as labor starts. So my bags are packed, and since my mom is leaving tomorrow (unless the baby comes before then!) I'm packing an overnight bag for Nathan in case we need to drop him off somewhere, and we'll be ready to go. I imagine this is how firefighters must feel- always on guard in case they are needed but mostly just sitting around playing cards. And I realize that is another reason I would not make a very good firefighter.

Still Pregnant

After all the hullabaloo of last week, I have to remind myself that's a good thing as I spent so much energy mentally preparing for a pre-term baby. A friend who had a similar situation wound up going past her due date and being induced, so I'm now operating under the assumption that the same thing will happen to me- I figure between that option and part thinking I'll be having the baby any second I'll be prepared no matter what.  

Nathan LOVED having Aunt Liz ("We-wiz!") come play with him and I got very used to the help.  My mother is here now and as popular as We-wiz was, Nathan never pushed me off the couch and demanded that she sit next to him instead of his mama. Like he did with Grammy this afternoon.  I figure with Nathan ignoring me for his true love I'll be able to spend this week with my feet up and getting everything baby-related squared away.  Which is honestly an even nicer way to spend the week than having a preterm baby (as I get closer and closer to 37 weeks I think, "sure, go ahead, come now, can't wait to meet you," but honestly would prefer it stays in there as long as possible for its own health).  

In Toddler News

This potty seat is probably the greatest thing ever. (Especially if you have a boy who prefers to sit. Just trust me, the splash guard makes this the most worthwhile purchase of Nathan's life thus far.)

Note from My Doctor

So, I totally went to the doctor to be told everything was fine.  And that because of the negative FFN results, everything was extremely likely to continue to be fine for at least the next 1-2 weeks (which was the same thing Dr. Google had told me but reassuring to hear from my own doctor) and that while I should try to stay off my feet etc., I could continue to drive and go about my day to day activities.

On the one hand I feel very bad that my sister and mother disrupted their schedules to help out when I think everything would probably have been fine if they hadn't.  On the other hand, I feel way more rested than I have in weeks just from having Liz take over the bulk of Nathan-running-around-with which can only be a good thing, and Nathan is LOVING having her here.  So that part has been worth it. 

Bedrest Day Two: In Which I Get a Lecture From My Mother

So this morning I thought I was actually doing pretty well- Liz and Nathan and I went with our playgroup to an indoor playplace and I just sat for the whole time with my feet up.  Then we went to In N Out for lunch and I felt what might have been a contraction. And then a little later another. So I called my doctor's office and the nurse said if they were contractions, I'd know, and I said, "Yeah, you'd think, but my last baby I spent hours and hours having pitocin induced contractions before I felt any of them so I'm just not sure," so she said to go ahead and come in to see the doctor in a couple of hours (when he was done delivering a baby) and I said okay.  My FFN tests came back negative, which according to Google means there is a 99% chance I am NOT in labor and will not go into labor in the next two weeks, but regardless, my mother is very annoyed that I left the house and drove a car etc. etc.

Anyway. I have a ride to the doctor and hopefully will be told it's all in my head.

Bedrest, Day One

I am very fortunate to have the friends and family that I do because my idea of going on bedrest was to just say, "Okay, I'm on bedrest!" and more or less go about my day.  But the friend who watched Nathan while I was at the doctor yesterday insisted on bringing lunch this morning (and she and her son helped wear Nathan out as my plan was to just sit and watch Wonder Pets and we were pretty sick of that by 9 AM or so), and my mother put my sister on a plane so fast she arrived around 10 AM as well. And my mother apparently told my sister not to let me do anything, which is good, because I don't think of myself as much of a housekeeper but when you are not supposed to pick up ANYTHING you realize how slovenly you would have to be to really not pick up ever, especially with a two year old.

So, yeah.  I made Elisabeth help put all the baby clothes, which I had gotten as far as sorting by size, into boxes and the dresser. There are still a lot of random baby clothes everywhere (because baby clothes are confusing to sort either by type or size and also because we have enough socks for this baby to wear a new pair each day for a year) but I felt better being able to see some of the floor in the baby's room.  I've also packed some of my hospital bag, but cannot remember needing anything the whole time I was in the hospital last time so all I have in it so far is a change of clothes for me, some socks, a coming home outfit for the baby (although Nathan's coming home outfit is likely to be a)too big since it was too big for 8 pound 4 oz Nathan, so measuring small-possibly coming early this baby will definitely swim in it and b)way too hot as it's flannel and lined, so it's not a special cute outfit or anything, but I did pack the ridiculous hat and booties I had knit to go with Nathan's outfit), and lip balm. I am sure I need more than that but can't think of anything besides a hairbrush and toothbrush which I need to use in the meantime.

Since the appointment yesterday I've only had one contraction (I was told to go to the hospital if I had 4 in an hour), so I am hoping this whole thing will take a while and we're all kind of freaking out early for no reason. I do not deal well with uncertainty and disruption of schedules and whatnot, but newborns tend to bring a lot of that once they arrive anyway, so apparently this child is just getting a head start on upsetting all my control issues. 

If I can just relax and enjoy the fact that I can sit and watch someone else unload my dishwasher, I'll be fine, but I am not sure I have that in me.

Gory Pregnancy Details To Follow, Skip If Squeamish

I always think, "Oh, you should really not share this with the internet" before starting a post like this and then remember how helpful I find other people's blogs that are this explicit when I am in this type of situation and Googling like crazy, so here goes. But seriously, don't read this while you're eating.

Yesterday we were at the store and I had a feeling we should get popsicles since popsicles were something I remembered stocking for labor last time.  I had this whole theory that by doing things super early, like having the carseat installed already and the crib assembled, I was staving off early labor. Apparently that theory may not be based in reality.

So this afternoon I had my regular ob appt and about an hour beforehand went to the bathroom and noticed something. Something about the size of a pea, and mucousy, and streaked with blood. I said, "Hey, could that be my mucous plug?" and then said, "Of course not, it is tiny, and it is too early (I am not quite 35 weeks yet), and also if it is you'll have to tell your doctor about it and that is too disgusting to describe to someone in person." I spent the whole next hour practicing how I would say what had happened and when I got to the doctor's office told the nurse and immediately turned bright red.  She said it was probably nothing, but that the physician's assistant (who I usually see as the OB is usually out on the days I go in) would do a cervical check. 

When the PA came in, she asked me to describe it again, and I did, and she said, "Oh, I bet that was your mucus plug!" I said, "No, don't tell me that." She said, "Don't worry, as long as you can get to 37 weeks the baby will be full term," and I said, "Yeah, I was really not planning on having a baby til the end of June."

Then during the exam I heard, "Oh, wow," which wasn't promising. And then, "36 weeks is pretty good, if you can make it that long."  Apparently I am a little dilated and 80-90 percent effaced already and the PA could touch the baby's head. She did a fetal fibronectin test, the results of which won't be in until Wednesday, and told me I was now to go on bedrest. I told her I had a 2 year old and she said "You'll be having this baby pretty soon, then!" 

Which I keep hoping means I might not have this baby for at least another two weeks, but everyone around me is much more panicked. However, a friend is bringing her son over to play with Nathan (and bringing lunch! Apparently bedrest means people don't want you fixing your own sandwiches?) tomorrow, and my sister is supposed to come out tomorrow as well (upside to the economy: my recently graduated sister doesn't have a job yet and can come hang out with Nathan and do all the heavy lifting).  My mom is scheduled to fly out Sunday, and will come sooner if a)I have to do hospitalized bed rest or b)I have the baby before then. Option a)seems worse, somehow, but I'd really prefer that neither happen, although I suppose neither a or b are worst case scenarios, just not what I had planned, and I like having things planned.

Anyway. I am not really having contractions, I am drinking lots of water, and I am trying to avoid going up and down the stairs unnecessarily (difficult in a split-level).  Hopefully I will not have a baby this week. We don't have a middle name picked!!!

Toddler Humor

Most of the things that make Nathan laugh I understand. Today, for instance, he's cracked up like crazy over things like his dad pretending to bump into things, or his teacher grabbing his toes while he was swinging at school. Or someone passing gas and then blaming it on the dog ("Bust toot! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha BUST TOOT!") or him dropping a piece of tortilla on the dog's back and watching the dog try to get it off.  Maybe I do not find all those things sidesplittingly hilarious, but I understand how a two year old would.

But why, in a book that is all about poop, for pete's sake, is the funniest line "Only kidding?" Everytime I read that he starts cracking up and repeating "Only kidding!" for the next ten minutes.  

Things Nathan Has Learned from Thomas the Tank Engine:

-that helicopters are different from airplanes. He used to just make the same sign for both (pointing up) but now he points up to indicate airplane and says "Ha-old" for helicopter. Okay, so he thinks helicopters are all named Harold, but still.

-the color blue. Ever since he learned his colors, he would call blue "green" no matter how many times I corrected him.  I was almost worried he was blue-green colorblind except he would always pick out a blue car and call it Mama's car, never a green one, when reading a book or playing with his cars. Finally, one day (and after a bitrillion readings of Blue Train, Green Train) he picked up his Thomas and said, "Boo choo choo." And then looked at me, noticed how pleased I was, and said, "No, geen choo choo." But since then he's been saying boo for blue and geen for green.

-"Thank you."  I have been trying to get him to say Thank You since before he was born, it feels like, but he would not say it. Then one day Thomas said Thank You to one of the other engines, and Nathan repeated it. I did not think much of it til lunch time- when I set down his plate he looked up and said, spontaneously, "Thank you, mama!" That was pretty much the greatest moment of my parenting career thus far and keeps me from wanting to kill myself when we listen to this CD for the seventieth time each day.

In other news, Nathan is starting to really get into the whole baby thing. He LOVES reading the new baby books we got at the library, and today my sister sent a whole bunch of boxes of stuff I had loaned her for her baby. I set them by the front door and told Nathan we'd take them to the baby's room later. When I was cleaning up from supper I looked up and realized Nathan had gone upstairs on his own and was standing outside the baby's room. "Mama, box! Baby!!" I still think the whole experience of actually having the baby here in the house is going to freak him out, but at least it is not going to be a complete surprise. 

My Little Manipulator

Nathan has figured a few things out. Namely:

-that he can usually get me to cave by saying "Please." And if that doesn't work, a really pathetic "peeeeease, Mama?" is hard for me to turn down.

-that I have very little patience for dawdling but if he disguises it as wanting to read one more book, he can get me to stall for quite a while.

-he can get me to come running just by saying "Uh Oh!"  He's the little boy who cried "Uh Oh!" whenever I am taking too long cleaning up in the kitchen, and he always turns out to be just sitting there, waiting for me to come play trains, but I'm quite sure the one time I don't come he'll have poured finger paint all over the dog.

-he had me totally convinced that I'd re-trained him to say "toot" instead of "fart." Turns out, he says "toot" when I am around, but "fart" when it's just him and Daddy.

-if he loiters by the cookie counter while we are waiting to pick up a pizza at our local Italian deli, there are at least three different people who will come and offer him a cookie.  Last time he wound up with seven free cookies.